surrounded by toys
Originally uploaded by brapps
My son is so cute. He really is a joy to be around, and when he sleeps a long stretch, I miss him.
Tonight, he started crying a lot as I got him ready for bed. He did that last night as well. I think he's really windy. Maybe I shouldn't feed him any solids so close to bed time. It really stresses me out when he cries. He used to cry a lot more like this in the early days, it's funny how nearly five months on and it's so easy to forget.
I'm startled by how fast five months have passed. I feel sad. I feel like I might just be starting to get the hang of this parenting thing and I'm already having to face decisions about how long my maternity leave will last (until March or June?) and how in the world and where in the world am I going to go back to work??? I have to transfer to a station closer to where we live.
I suppose I still haven't accepted the passing of my old life. I guess I still think that when I go back to work, poof, the baby will disappear and I'll be living in my old flat again and be happy to make it home in time for the 5 o'clock footie on a Saturday evening. No. Sometimes I feel like I'm in exile here in the new house with the new challenge of always doing what's best for the baby. It can feel very scary and lonely.