GET ME AWAY FROM HERE, I'M DYING.

I still hate my job. I think that I should stay until after my trip to England next April. I was ok with that idea for a while. Now I'm not feeling very ok about it. Ben is miserable in his position here, too. I think he will be looking for a new job very soon. I think that is a very good idea. I didn't want to give up the bonus I might possibly get at the end of the year, or my vacation time. I need to really weigh this out and see what the best thing to do is. Just because I decide I want another job doesn't mean that one will be waiting on my doorstep as soon as the thought clicks. I really need to get my portfolio and resume together so that I can see what is out there. Then, if I find something great, that will be the time to leave. Life is too unpredictable to try to schedule it all out to fit around the trip to England. It's going to happen whether I get paid vacation or not. The benefit of being out of this hell hole will be bonus enough. I just want to go somewhere where I will be stimulated and I can make progress.

Ben and I are going to our first baseball game tomorrow. Neither of us have ever been. it should be a lot of fun. We're going with my friend from high school, Sandra, and her boyfriend Rich.

I've planned a nice birthday dinner party for my closest friends and family to come and celebrate my 29th birthday with me. We're having it at a greek restaurant on my actual birthday, September 30th. (Generous people with too much money - if you are reading this and feel like getting me a present, I have a gift list: http://www.findgift.com/cgi-local/Registry.cgi?m=View&rid=85161021299575748353737) I am really looking forward to it. I am also taking that day off from work, and Marianna will be here from England/Australia/Hawaii, staying with us, so I can go do fun stuff with her! I am very excited about that.

In pursuit of OTR, I got on the scale about a week ago, and was irritated to find that I was only 8 pounds lighter than I was at the beginning of the year. So I got tough. I have been counting calories and keeping a written journal of everything I eat. I am trying to keep my calories at 1200 a day on days when I don't exercise (which is most days), and 1400 on days that I do. In one week I have lost almost 4 pounds. It might just be water weight, but that's ok with me. I think counting calories until Thanksgiving is going to be my goal. I have to lose about 7 more pounds by then. If I don't, I will be sad. That will mean that I will either not be able to enjoy food through the holidays or I will do it anyway and end up being the same weight I was at the beginning of this year, making the entire year of dieting pointless. I am trying to teach myself good judgement and good habits in the next eleven weeks. I have realised that I have no concept of the portions of food I eat, so measuring has to happen. I am hoping that soon I will just be able to tell without measuring, so that when I do get down to my ideal weight, maintaining it will be a cinch. I am going to be in good shape when I go to England in April, I just have to.