TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE CLOTHING - AND PANCAKES!

I have been livng in London for a year now, as of yesterday. What do I think? I love London. I miss some things about L.A. Namely, tumble dryers in most dwellings, stores that stay open past 8pm, good mexican food, Jolly Ranchers, my family and friends, Disneyland, Santa Barbara, Shopping with Vicky. Not being alone. Things I love about London, Ben lives here, the buildings are pretty and full of history, I live near the Thames river, I don't have to drive and can travel for free due to Ben working for the Underground, I can drink a lot more alcohol than I used to, mmmm - Jaffa cakes, sausage & mash, full English Breakfast, lemonade & squash. I'm thirsty. Did you know I mostly drink tea now instead of coffee? Scary! I can actually get up in the morning and function without it. Never thought I'd see the day.

I've been very depressed lately. I've also been ill for almost a week and I haven't been to the gym in over a week. My job is also really crap. I need to find a new one. I started seeing a therapist last week. He seems like a good one. I'm hoping to work on my feelings of low self-esteem and dissatisfaction with everything. A shift in the way I interpret the things that happen in my life and an injection of motivation. I have gotten really lazy. I don't know how to properly make and maintain new friendships or even how to have a sense of style and self. It's all just too much. I'm not giving these things up without a fight, I need to regain these abilities or risk becoming old and lonely before my time.

I saw Interpol at the Brixton Academy last weekend with Clare and her friend Jackie. It was really great, they are fantastic live. And what a beautiful venue. I want to go out more, there is so much to do in London. If I wasn't feeling ill, I'd be going out right now instead of typing on a Saturday night!